Homogenous Slop

I’ve been thinking too much about discreteness. It’s because I read too much. Everything is a little packaged up orb, and everything is made up of smaller orbs. And the only time something is not an orb is when it passes into the next life, dissolves, and runs off into the dirt to mix and become part of a homogenous mixture of, of something. At the scale that matters, that is, as I am no physicist.

And this discreteness is limiting. Painfully so. The limitation starts in my mind and moves to my lungs and larynx, it continues into the air and is distorted as the vibrations ripple and reflect, and all that you hear from me is limited by your own discrete parts in the most destructive way. Maybe if my brain was homogenous slop I could get my thoughts right. I know the truth. The way, the universal verity is hidden in the slop of my soul or subconscious, but to bring it into a thinkable form is rendered impossible by my brain.

Likewise, these thoughts I have I am too scared to speak. No words can sum up what one really feels. And so it comes out in a stuttered mess of consonants and uhs, and I really make no sense at all. And what you glean from these sounds I make– that is unknowable to me. Maybe if we were all that slop, all of us together, we would all know everyone’s true intentions. And my hypothesis would be proven. I would see that no one is truly bad, and everyone would realize that any bad I have done was in the name of good-doing. That life is too strange to think you know anyone, truly, at least until you’re in the homogenous slop. But then if we are all dissolved in the sloppifying acid and we are all one, then surely we would not have intentions at all, at least not individually, and thus our intentions would be neither good nor bad, and there would be no way to know anything. All of our actions would be one and I would have nothing to say to you as you and I would be one too, but the thing that would become of us would be so totally different from our present forms that it would not even register to us that we are who we are, just joined by means of dissolution. So what use would it be? We are destined to be misunderstood, and the only time you or I could be realized is when there is no you, and there is no I. So why care?